# There's just some things you shouldn't do.....



## RippySkippy

From the local paper (click picture to enlarge text slightly). The text from the original article reads:

8/28/2008

"One man was seriously injured in an explosion apparently caused by gasoline fumes in Des Moines on Monday afternoon.

Carrol Laverne Uitermarkt, 56, of Prairie City, was taken to Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines. A condition report was not immediately available this morning.

*Police said Ralph Touch and Uitermarkt were using gasoline to clean the basement floor at 5805 New York Avenue. Touch told officers they would put a small amount of gasoline on the floor and then suck it up with a Shop-Vac. 

Touch told officers they were almost finished with the floor and the Shop-Vac was nearly full of gas when the explosion occurred shortly before 2 p.m. * 

Touch was standing outside on the east side of the house at the time of the explosion, police said. A man riding by on his bike at the time heard the blast and called 911. He then helped Touch get Uitermarkt out of the basement.

Officers said in a report: "Uitermarkt was conscious and breathing, with severe burns to the majority of his body." Officials said the force of the explosion blew out the windows and bowed the walls and foundation. A property to the east also was damaged. 

Uitermarkt later was transferred from Mercy Medical Çenter to University of Iowa Hospitals in Iowa City."


Nice guy or not...I'm think'n Mr. Uitermarkt should be nominated for a "Darwin Award," god rest his soul.


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## gma2rjc

In the news recently there was a story about a young couple who used a small grill in their car and they both died from the fumes.


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## bradnailer

Speaking of Darwin awards, I was gassing up my motorcycle a while back and a couple of kids decided to do a gas and go. They gassed up and while headed out the parking lot of the convenience store, high centered a pot hole that had concrete on the far edge. The concrete knocked a hole in their oil pan and the car locked up within 200 yards. I watched as three guys piled out of the car and headed for the trees. Directly, one of them came back and stood by the car. Guess it was his car. Probably the most expensive tank of gas he's ever stolen.


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## Maintenance 6

That's poetic justice!!! :thumbup:


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## gma2rjc

> Directly, one of them came back and stood by the car. Guess it was his car. Probably the most expensive tank of gas he's ever stolen.


I guess he had some 'splainin' to do. I wonder if it was his or his parents car. Imagine him going home, "Dad, you wouldn't believe what happened today, it's the funniest thing..."


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## DangerMouse

a friend of mine owns an excavating company. kept his gas for the bobcats in an unlocked barn. noticed the containers were constantly....'low'... he decided to put 3 containers of water with just a bit of gasoline for smell. the next morning he found the neighbor kid's car about a quarter mile up the road with a blown engine...... that's justice.

DM


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## gma2rjc

It would have been fun for your friend to pull over when he saw the kid and say, "Huh! It seems like everybody's having bad luck today. All the water I had in my gas cans is missing and you have a blown engine. What are the odds of that happening?


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## Maintenance 6

A buddy had the same problem with the gas in his farm tractor disappearing. He filled it with water and waited. Got the same result as your friend with the bobcat. 

We had somebody who kept stealing gallons of mixed paint out of our shop. We mixed some thinner with lindseed oil and dog turds and shook it up good. Sort of a nice beige color. Left it set on the counter and sure enough it disappeared. I'd have loved to see those living room walls. :whistling2:.................. "Honestly, I don't know why this paint smells so bad. No honey, I don't think we should return it to the store" :laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## DangerMouse

i bet the color was real shytty too......

DM


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## gma2rjc

I read an article a few years ago about farmer's having to lock-up their tanks of Ammonia. People were stealing it to make crystal meth (I think it was that) and even with the tanks locked, sometimes the thieves would drill into the side of the tank and steal it anyway.


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## RippySkippy

Yeah...that has always amazed me...what little I know about the items in Meth; ammonia, batteries, starting fluid and fire...now if that doesn't scream death's a knock'n at your door I don't know what would.

There's a whole industry out there working to lock up ammonia tanks that are accessable, and a local university was looking at reformulating anhydrous ammonia to make it in-effective as a meth ingredient. I was around ammonia as a kid on the farm...and have no interest in drilling a hole in a tank with super cold liquid...idiots....


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## gma2rjc

I think crystal meth is the reason we have to ask the pharmacist for the real decongestants that work. When I asked for some, I had to sign a paper because the federal government keeps track of how many each person buys. 

I have no desire to go near a tank of that stuff either. I use to work where 'Old Orchard' juice is made in Sparta, MI. One day when I walked out into the parking lot the smell of ammonia just about knocked me off my feet. I held my breath until I got to my car, but it scared the heck out of me. Either the tank of ammonia in the parking lot had a leak or the company was trying to get rid of some employees without having to pay unemployment :laughing:.

At what point in life does someone say, "Hmm, if I mix Ammonia, batteries, starting fluid and, let's see, oh maybe some decongestant from the medicine cabinet...and to make it interesting...fire." It's time for that guy to get out of the gene pool.


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## Maintenance 6

gma2rjc said:


> At what point in life does someone say, "Hmm, if I mix Ammonia, batteries, starting fluid and, let's see, oh maybe some decongestant from the medicine cabinet...and to make it interesting...fire." It's time for that guy to get out of the gene pool.


And a lot of them do. We just gotta figure out how to get them out faster than more jump in. :whistling2:


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## DangerMouse

maybe if we made up a batch of doggydoo pool additive..... heh heh

DM


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## gma2rjc

I worked with some guys at a manufacturing bakery up until about 11 years ago. They told me about a mushroom (I can't remember the name of it now) that grows under cow 'pies'. They said you have to lift the crap and pull the mushroom out from under it and eat the mushroom to get high. Apparently it tastes just like cow poop. I didn't believe them at first, but they talked about it so many times, I don't think they were kidding. 

So again I have to ask, at what point in a person's life does someone say, "Hey Darrell, I wonder if there's anything good to eat under that pile of cow $h!+." "I dunno Darrell, let's go find out."


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## DangerMouse

well, it IS true that Psylocybin mushrooms grow in cow flop.....A hallucinogenic compound can be obtained from the mushroom Psilocybe mexicana. but good point about 'who was the first guy'.... you know, i bet if i drilled a hole in a tree and told a bunch of guys it was there......

DM


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## gma2rjc

> .... you know, i bet if i drilled a hole in a tree and told a bunch of guys it was there......


 
...you'd have them lined up around the forest. :yes:


*



"When the Heeber, Squat and Frobbing, Bends it's Peeber on the Knobbing,
Let no Wenzel make a Maizy, for the Morning Dew is Lazy." 
Name the source of this poem and win a No-Prize! :laughing:

Click to expand...

* 
So, no good guesses on the quote yet? I'm thinking about sending an email to everyone on my contact list to see if anyone knows. Would that be cheating?


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## DangerMouse

gma2rjc said:


> So, no good guesses on the quote yet? I'm thinking about sending an email to everyone on my contact list to see if anyone knows. Would that be cheating?


heck no! no-one has even come close yet, sooooo.... i'm beginning to think no-one ever will. maybe i just hallucinated it somehow....

DM


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## gma2rjc

Give it time, someone will get it.


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