# Cooking mistakes and fixes



## DoomsDave (Dec 6, 2018)

We’ve all cooked something and it came out wrong. Sometimes it’s a matter of just doing what you were supposed to do a bit longer or adding more seasoning or salt.

But sometimes you cook something too long or add too much of something and the dish is expensive and you hate to waste it, but we’ll, ugh you don’t want to eat it as it is.

So you try to fix or repurpose.

Share if you will, your culinary mistakes and fixes. Or, offer another solution to someone else’s.

Here’s my first (mistakes, like the enemy, are legion):

I made a huge pot of seafood pasta and it was too watery and the pasta was over cooked. Ugh. 

It would have been easy to dump it in the garden but wounding to my cook’s pride and wallet.

So I spread it thinly on a plate or metal sheet and nuke or bake till it’s nice and brown and reasonably palatable again. Disappearing bit by bit.


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## jimfarwell (Nov 25, 2014)

I made a big batch of my Firebean Dip for an office party, and added way too much salt -- somebody _(the wife swears it had to be me)_ had left the salt-shaker's top loose, it fell off and I dumped maybe 3 table-spoons into the pot.

Too late, can't fix it. Have to toss it out, right? ...But that was an expensive pot of dip....

So I made another big batch, with zero salt added, and used real cheese instead of the process cheese (which, if you haven't noticed, has LOTS of salt), then I mixed the two batches. It was pretty good, just a bit too salty, but OK.

Then I poured half this quadruple-batch into a large container and put it in the freezer for our next family gathering -- yeah, I could taste that the thawed dip was different, but no one complained.


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## jimfarwell (Nov 25, 2014)

I made a nice pot of beef stew, then turned the stove down to very low to simmer for half an hour.

Three hours later I recalled that I'd been cooking. It wasn't burned black, but it was pretty much one solid chunk of badly overcooked stew.

I chopped it into squares and gave one piece per day to my hunting dog. She thought it was delicious.

_[ I know, I know, that wasn't a FIX...but tell that to my dog! ]_


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## DoomsDave (Dec 6, 2018)

Back in ancient times, I used to bake a bit, and one day I made a batch of what I used to call "Tire Track Cookies" because they looked like the mud that came off your tires after you'd driven through it.

I used baking soda, instead of the called-for baking powder, and they came out bitter enough to be not good. So, I slathered them with some icing I made from lemon juice and powdered sugar and that hyper-sweet icing went great with the slightly bitter cookies.


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## DoomsDave (Dec 6, 2018)

jimfarwell said:


> I made a nice pot of beef stew, then turned the stove down to very low to simmer for half an hour.
> 
> Three hours later I recalled that I'd been cooking. It wasn't burned black, but it was pretty much one solid chunk of badly overcooked stew.
> 
> ...



There wasn't much my dog wouldn't eat or drink. She was a young German Shepherd, wolfen in look, but sweet as a pie in temperament. ("Dog bite, man?" No, she'd lick you skinless.) 


One day I was replacing the transmission in my 1976 Olds 98 two door and I left the pan with transmission fluid unattended. I heard the unmistakable sound of lap-lap-lap; Doggie drank some of the fluid, metal chips and all! :surprise:

Called the vet and he said keep an eye on her, and if she's in obvious distress, bring her in, but she didn't have any problems, except for a case of metal-chip-flecked diarrhea.


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## Startingover (Apr 18, 2012)

Made old fashioned fudge recently. Haven't replaced by broken candy thermometer. Tried to test it like my mother did, in glass of water. It was so hard (what I was able to get out of the pan) it was crumbs which we put on ice cream.


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## DoomsDave (Dec 6, 2018)

Here’s some fixed pasta 

Starting to like this better than the original recipe


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## Startingover (Apr 18, 2012)

I eat a lot of things that I wouldn’t serve to company.


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## Nik333 (Mar 1, 2015)

You made me remember- We have a cousin with a gorgeous house on a cliff at the beach. They would have many of us ( grown kids of 13 kids) over for Christmas or Thanksgiving the last few years. We would bring hors d'oeuvres. I made prosciutto with fresh white Mozzarella and red tomato slices. 

On the way there, someone cut me off & I slammed on the brakes. The hors d'oeuvres went flying onto the floor, but they were in a big plastic bag. I brought them in & explained. The acid in the tomatoes had "cooked" the prosciutto & turned it a light brown. It looked like I had left it out in the sun for days.

No one ate it.:biggrin2: Except me. She didn't ask for hors d'oeuvres the next year.


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## Nik333 (Mar 1, 2015)

jimfarwell said:


> I made a big batch of my Firebean Dip for an office party, and added way too much salt -- somebody _(the wife swears it had to be me)_ had left the salt-shaker's top loose, it fell off and I dumped maybe 3 table-spoons into the pot.
> 
> Too late, can't fix it. Have to toss it out, right? ...But that was an expensive pot of dip....
> 
> ...


Btw, my mom used potatoes in any dish with too much salt. They absorb the salt.


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## jimfarwell (Nov 25, 2014)

Nik333 said:


> Btw, my mom used potatoes in any dish with too much salt. They absorb the salt.


...Yeahhh, taters do absorb salt.

But adding potatoes to hot chorizo bean dip would be a bit like adding Phillips Milk of Magnesia to a martini with too much gin. It would definitely reduce the alcohol percentage...but it might change the characteristics of the martini. :biggrin2:

...For one thing, you could no longer see the olive. :vs_laugh:


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## Nik333 (Mar 1, 2015)

jimfarwell said:


> ...Yeahhh, taters do absorb salt.
> 
> But adding potatoes to hot chorizo bean dip would be a bit like adding Phillips Milk of Magnesia to a martini with too much gin. It would definitely reduce the alcohol percentage...but it might change the characteristics of the martini. :biggrin2:
> 
> ...For one thing, you could no longer see the olive. :vs_laugh:


You take them back out. Just don't mash them first.


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## jimfarwell (Nov 25, 2014)

...regarding the addition of potatoes to an over-salted bean-dip to remove the salt.



Nik333 said:


> You take them back out. Just don't mash them first.


_*...DOH!*_ :wacko: :surprise:

Upon further consideration of your mother's excellent idea, I declare my regret for having poked fun at it. ...But I do think that Phillips MOM bit was funny.


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## Nik333 (Mar 1, 2015)

jimfarwell said:


> ...regarding the addition of potatoes to an over-salted bean-dip to remove the salt.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's okay. She did leave them in if it was a stew.

There was some unspoken competition between my Virginian mother & my dad's Germanic mother & his sister. All great cooks but different styles. My mother was less stern, with forgiving humor.

I tried making beef jerky at my father's sister's house & accidentally put in too much salt. Not much you can do. They were dismayed. Esp since I had a new degree in Home Ec & Nutrition!

I suppose you could soak the meat & start over? Add some beef stock to replace the juice soaked out?


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## jimfarwell (Nov 25, 2014)

Nik333 said:


> ...I tried making beef jerky at my father's sister's house & accidentally put in too much salt. Not much you can do.
> ...
> I suppose you could soak the meat & start over? Add some beef stock to replace the juice soaked out?


No, no, no, Nikki -- you are too polite and principled. If you can't fix it, *LIE ! ! !*

"It's not a mistake, this is a batch I made for the veterans' home, bunch of the old soldiers are low on sodium."

"JEEZ, folks, DON'T EAT THAT ! ! It isn't jerkey, it's carni-boullion starter -- I just put one in a pint of water with a pack of ramen noodles and some chopped green onions, nuke it for three minutes, and I have a great lunch, including meat."

"It's winter coyote-bait -- those little guys love meat, and are chronically short on salt, so...."

"Sorry, folks, I put out the wrong batch -- this is for me. You see, recent studies in the New England Journal of Medicine show that low salt causes: 

Reduced hydration, especially in athletes (like me)
Muscle cramps
Higher risk of heart attack
Headaches
Weakness
Cognitive decline in elderly (such as myself), and especially...
*IRRITABILITY*
And when I get irritable and have cramps and a headache, I get really, really nasty...I mean ugly *rancid* nasty. *You best not touch my damn jerky!*"


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## Nik333 (Mar 1, 2015)

:biggrin2:


jimfarwell said:


> No, no, no, Nikki -- you are too polite and principled. If you can't fix it, *LIE ! ! !*
> 
> "It's not a mistake, this is a batch I made for the veterans' home, bunch of the old soldiers are low on sodium."
> 
> ...


:biggrin2: That is pretty imaginative!


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